time to fly the nest

It may be time to leave my first nursing job. I have been here five years, they trained me as a new grad in the ER and I have loved it. I learned the skills and art of ER nursing from some excellent mentors. I know I chose the right profession, I love the mystery of figuring out what is wrong with a patient, hearing their stories. I love the challenge of dealing with difficult situations and patients. I especially love the excitement of stabilizing a really sick patient and the teamwork that happens when it gets crazy.

I have since taken on a second job at an urban trauma center and have stepped up my game to take care of critical trauma patients. This hospital is a teaching institution with an awesome staff of doctors and nurses. It is a pleasure to work with them and I have learned so much in a short time just by the sheer exposure to many types of patients. To do this I am working many shifts, days at one job and nights at the other job. I was always afraid of working nights but it turns out I LIKE it. Night shift fits my body clock, I have never been a morning person and have always stayed up late. I find now that I am dragging on the days I work day shift.

I need to let go of the day job, the one that took a chance on me as a brand spanking new grad, the one that trained me to be a nurse. The manager that hired me is gone now, replaced with a manager that treats us like warm bodies to fill the schedule. I know it is time to go, but I am finding it hard to leave. The department is at an all time low right now, morale is low, per diem nurses are leaving for other jobs. The only ones that are staying are the ones that are vesting in the retirement.  I have only been here for 5 years though, and only 2 of those as a benefitted position, I’ll be dead before I vest in any retirement since I came to this profession late.